By The Rev. Bernard W. Poppe, RectorFrom the Gospel we just heard, "Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple..."
This little nugget is tucked into a series of teachings about discipleship. At first glance it's problematic, to say the least. The modern ear hears this and deep concerns arise about families being dysfunctional enough without our Savior adding fuel to the fire. When I came back from my vacation feeling rested, I opened the lectionary and saw this portion of text and wondered how I'm going to handle this one in the family service. I'll have you know that I did what any sane preacher would do -- I changed the lesson. Can you imagine the Back to School sermon beginning with telling the kids that unless they hate their mothers and fathers, brothers and sisters, and themselves, they can't be Jesus' disciples! That didn't strike me as being the most productive approach to congregational development. So I left it out.
No such luck for you, though. We're going to dive into the deep end of the pool. What on earth can Jesus be talking about? What ever happened to the fifth commandment, "Thou shalt honor thy mother and father"? Well, to begin with, we need to remember that this text was not meant for children, nor was it meant for the modern ear. The construct of the biblical language from which this comes doesn't have shading of degree. You either love something or hate it. Something is either good or evil. The language is very black and white and that's the way it is.
That explanation may take a little of the sting out of this passage, but it's still disturbing. And I think that's the point. It's disturbing. It gets our attention and makes us listen very carefully and puts in bold relief what Jesus is calling for.
Being on a spiritual path is not easy. The level of discipleship that Jesus outlines for his followers is very strong indeed and calls for strong talk. What does it mean to be a disciple of Jesus? It means a commitment to a prayerful relationship with God, a life devoted to truth, one centered on justice and respect. It calls for a life of spiritual health and following teachings that bring out of us better people than we could ever imagine. It puts us in a loving relationship with our neighbor and leads up to support them in their spiritual path. It is a life style and not a hobby. It is a commitment to Jesus as the Son of God, through whom God's love and grace is known.
For many of us as we grew up, relationship to God was put in the context of a burden with threats of punishment for failure. That approach is misguided and destructive. The reward of a spiritual life is one of peace and an abundance of love and spiritual health. Jesus is giving his disciples an invitation, not a threat. But we come back to the strong words of that invitation and it seems to be a contradiction.
One area of our lives which gets lost in modern society is passion. We hear the phrase "following one's bliss" for example as though to do so is irresponsible and leading to disaster. The alternative is to follow one's despair. I like to use subway riders as an illustration. Somewhere along the line it's become the norm to scowl on the train. To smile is a negative. Imagine yourself on a subway thinking of a pleasant event over the weekend and having a broad grin and perhaps a hearty laugh. How many of us would then be immediately embarrassed for that lapse and go back in the stern character? Taken a bit further, our passions in life usually get the shortest amount of time and attention, if at all. It's sad to see people whose spirits seem to have died within them, people for whom joy is a luxury they cannot afford to indulge or perhaps have forgotten how. Now imagine that joy and passion as being available and close at hand. What would you give for it? What would you sacrifice for it? Would you let anyone deter you from it or get in your way? What if the person that stood between you and your greatest joy was you mother or father? Your sister or brother? Or even yourself, as expressed in doubts or lack of confidence? If our greatest joy was right in front of us, ready for the taking we would stand at a crossroad of choice. We could let others, and even our own limitations, prevent us – or putting aside those cares reach out for the opportunity that promises us the life we are called to live. These are not choices that would be made out of hate, though to some it might seem that way. But they would be difficult none the less. This, I believe is the kind of situation Jesus describes to his disciples.
People don't always approve our choices for how we live our lives: the people we marry, the jobs we take, the values we espouse, the spiritual paths we follow. People we care for, if they are not supportive can range from mildly disapproving to abusively confrontational. And again we have the choice to follow our own passion, our own joy, our own spiritual path or not.
Jesus' path took him to the cross and beyond the cross to resurrection. His disciples went their own paths during their lives and risked much and I believe found much in the process. When we follow convention or loving advice at the expense of our heart's desire, we pay a terrible price in the spirit. But, when we follow our hearts and spirits we risk the misunderstanding and judgment of those around us who we really care about. I don't think it necessarily needs to be hate, but there comes a time when our choices place us in difficult situations where the fears and limitations of those around us and even ourselves, no matter what kind of love or fear they may be cloaked in, need to be set aside. We can still honor those around us without allowing their influences to affect us negatively.
One of my favorite poems is one I had to memorize in the sixth grade and it's stayed with me all these years. It's called Barter by Sara Teasdale. In the first two stanzas she describes many wonderful and lovely things in life. She concludes with this stanza: "Spend all that you have for loveliness. Buy it and never count the cost. For one white singing hour of peace count many a year of strife well lost, and for a breath of ecstasy give all that you have been or could be."
God calls each of us on a spiritual path, full of joy, purpose and much mystery. Jesus also described it as sometimes taking up your cross and following him. Strong words for strong choices, but he better than anyone knows that beyond the cross is the resurrection to new life. The psalmist said, "Lord, you have searched me out and known me, you know my sitting down and my rising up; you discern my thoughts from afar..." God knows us so intimately and calls us into living as fully and wonderfully as we have been made. Amen.
© 2007 St. George's Episcopal Church, Maplewood, NJ
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